umm my friend will be Kadi
Kadi- (Here is my shot at a love story dont judge me ppl, hey "still a better love story than twilight" XD, anyway this is from a song by Christina Perri called "The Lonely" its creepy. Take it from here? add convo?)
Kadi- Here I am, crying off my face, again. The silent sound of loneliness wants to follow me to bed. I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most. I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well. Dancing slowly in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of me. "Let you go and let the lonely in, to take my heart again" (sing song way) ... *phone rings* I wipe my tear, stretch my arm up from the desolate corner up to the desk and pick up the phone. "Hello?"
Tay- "Hey... It's a bit late, but... you wanna meet up?" I sat up on my bed, already dressed, anticipating a rejection.
Kadi- "Why? Tell me why you think I am going to go back!" Why does he do this to me, when I am ready to move on, he calls. I hate him, because I loved him, and I still do.
Tay- "Woah! Hey, I told you I was sorry. I didn't mean to. I had a rough time that day. Please. Come back to me. I love you. Let's meet up in front of the library alright?" It was in some sense a bit fun, doing this to her. But in another way, I really wondered if I could ever fall in love. Abused my whole life, thrown around. I really had a bit of.. Hope perhaps? That I could fall in love. But, I was angry, a bottle of misuse wanting to retaliate.
Kadi- "You do? The library..., okay" I knew he did not. Someone fools you once, shame on them, they fool you twice , shame on you. I am going to go and stand HIM up this time, yea I am going to do that and nothing else...
Tay- I stood in front of the library, in the chill, my breath creating frost puffs in the night. I was watching them disappear into the blackness of the moonless night as I heard soft footsteps approach me.
Kadi- I see him standing there, looking as cool as he always does, ~man do I hate your guts~ I think. ~You and your stupid, ugly, cruel face~ But I know his face was not stupid, it was beautiful, everything about him was beautiful. The way his hair was in one place, his jacket swaying slowly with the wind, his hazel eyes gazing kindly at me, oh the love of my li- No, I will not be made a fool of, no, do not call this love. I walk up to him, "Can we get this through with" hoping he heard the apathy I was trying so hard to convey instead of my shattered soul.
Tay- I was taken aback. "...Are you alright?" I stepped tentatively toward her, she abruptly stumbled backwards. "What's wrong?... Are... Are you still mad at me? I'm sorry! I'm really sorry for what I did! I didn't mean to!" I begged desperately. I realized that her eyes were downcast and her jaw was clenched. I turned to the library and rested my head against the wall. My eyes shut I slammed my head against the stone wall, repeatedly. I slid down to the floor. "Fine. Leave me. Just go. I'll end it here."
Kadi- "N--- I mean, it was rude of you to do that me, again. Did you really think I was going to go back to you so easily. You hurt me, and, I, I loved you. Why?" Damn it, he did it again, made me fall for him so abruptly. Even I know the only reason I said that was so I did not have to leave. But soon, I wished I had left when he let me.
Tay- I... was happy? With a sick and twisted joy? Or was it a genuine happiness? That maybe she understood me? I continued sitting on the ground, my head leaning against the wall. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'll stop. I'll try. I'll try..." I murmured empty promises. Words that didn't sound convincing even to me. How could I stop? She was the only easy victim I had. How easy it was to let all of my anger and frustration out on her. With violence, without words or patience or explanation. "I'm sorry. That's the only thing I can promise. I'll always be sorry."
Kadi- And that was why I loved him so, he was always sorry. He always came back and apologized, he was so closed and I felt like only I opened him to, only I reduced him into such a weak state. "O-" I stopped, I remembered why I wanted to end it. He would be sorry, for a week, one beautiful, magical week. Then came the pain, the anguish, the tears. I fell to the ground next to him, and I sobbed. "Why do you do this to me!" I yelled, between sobs "Why did you have to go and take my heart, comfort it, then smash it to pieces, WHY?!"
Tay- "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." My words became inaudible sobs, the blood and the tears mixed together. I truly was sorry. All the pain that I had caused her, the pain and violence that didn't make me any happier and only set a deeper weight upon me. A darker darkness settled within my heart each and every time. "Leave me--- the next time I hurt you. --- Leave me. --- Not as your wish--- but as mine. I don't want to see the demon I'm becoming. Prevent me from becoming one. ---- Leave me---the next time." I was gasping, gasping through the darkness, the murky waters, for air. A breath of pure fresh air. Air that I had never breathed, from this hell I was living. I wanted out. But I wouldn't be freed.
Kadi- "I know you are..." I did, he was truly sorry. I watched as his muscles relaxed, his fingers hung, and his whole being gave in to tears. Genuine sadness, something I never thought I would never see him feel. "But, I don't know if I should forgive you, I want to and I don't" I took a deep breath "Why?" I asked in a hushed, desperate voice, "Why won't you let me love me, why won't you let me free you, why do you refuse to tell me why you act like this, you don't let me in!" At this I had reached a breaking point. I stood up and ran, if he loved me, he would run after me. I hope he does.
Tay- Forgiveness... Forgiveness? Me? She questions whether I am worthy of forgiveness. Isn’t that an easy question? Of course not! Who would forgive me? How could I ever forgive my parents? For the abuse I received since they took me in? Abandoned. By both my parents. I heard her yell at me in the distance. I felt her leave my side. The bit of warmth that was beside me had disappeared, leaving me victim to the coldness, the darkness. I faded away, and fell to the floor. Alone, in the morning, awash in blood and tears, with no one to care for, with no one to care for me. I let her leave. I... let her leave.
Kadi- I ran, I did not know where I was going, I ran until I could go no further. The park? THE park, where he told me he loved me, the first time. A rush of memories knocked me onto the bench. Memories of the days when we were friends, more like pity buddies. The days we became best friends and that beautiful day he told me that I was his penguin, his soul mate. From there we dove right in, I knew something was always wrong. But.. I never asked. Maybe this isn’t his fault, maybe I am being selfish. After all, I am his penguin. With a surge of passion I go back up and ran back, as I always did. I flew with the wind back to my lover. I knew if I wanted him I would not wait for him to run to me, I would have to chase him and I was ready to do that. I will always be his even if he will not be mi- “Wha- Earl! No, get up. What happened, get up, please, PLEASE!?” I sobbed over him, kneeling with him scoped up into my arms, “please?” He opened his eyes and smiled faintly at me.
Tay- She came back. She came back for me. I was happy. I had captured the bird again. But... was it again only for my sadistic ideals? So that I could bring her into my circle of darkness? I didn’t want that. But I wanted someone beside me, in my circle, understanding me, feeling the pain I’ve have to feel, sharing the burden. But... I didn’t want to taint her anymore than I had already done. Imperfections on her pureness, I had caused her pain and created a bit of darkness within her, guilt, pain, longing, hate, and regret. I reached out to her, but felt my hand scrape the cold floor. My body was limp as she cradled me, my head almost reaching the floor. The cold emanating from the darkness fought to ward off the heat that held me close. I faded off into the blackness, relaxing into the temporary relief it gave from the war I fought everyday.
Kadi- That one smile said nothing, yet everything. He was going to be okay, I was going to be okay. His face relaxed as he fell out of consciousness. He looked so old, "How old is your soul?" I asked. My body realized what time it was and began to shut down, and I allowed it. I took off my scarf making a pillow and placed his head on it, and I crawled into his arms. "Good night, dearest."
Tay-
I woke up to the cold floor digging into my shoulder, the smell of... Home... Hell...
“Oh, thank you officer! I’m so glad that you found him, he tends to run away a lot, and we are constantly worried about him!” The smell of lies. The honeyed honesty. My... “father”? My father... yanked me into his arms and squeezed my bruised arms, numb with the chill. He avoided my eyes, “You’re dead son. You would’ve been dead in the orphanage, and you’re dead here too.” My limp body could not muster any strength. It had given up. I had given up. It wasn’t a battle worth fighting.
“Yes, thank you officer! Thank you! My poor little boy. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” I vacantly heard the empty words sprouting from my mother’s lips. And I heard the door close. And I heard the police car drive off. I heard the hope disappear from view. I resigned myself. As I did. As I would. For the rest of my life. To my punishment. I had been set upon the floor in my room. My vacant eyes staring at the ceiling. There was a time when I cried, when I begged for forgiveness, when I yelled, when I screamed, when I tried to run away. My eyes were dry, no words upon my tongue, no voice to be heard, no hope to escape, no tenseness, no thinking, I just let it all fall away, as the first hit fell.I'll add more as we write more! I'm curious as to whether more people will join! As it is an open post on facebook.
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